“I was willing to try it – I did not believe it would work – but that was really great.” That is how one of my clients thanked me for helping him resolve a conflict. For the purposes of this post, let’s call him Joe, we will return to his story a little later.

“I came because I like you Tim – but now I realize that this is one of the most important things I have ever done!” That is what Pastor Nick Chandler, one of our training attendants, told me. (Read more about it here.)

There seems to be this trend – people trust me just enough to try it and they are thankful that they did. This is why John Paul Lederach subtitled his book on peacemaking: “The art and soul of peacemaking.” Because this industry is not cut and dry.

Think about it- how do you find your way through conflict? When you are in a tough situation who do you go to for help? At what point in your conflict are you willing to ask for help? The reason peacemaking is an art because every conflict is different and every situation requires careful consideration. What I have noticed is that it all begins with our availability and a test. There is a question on our client’s mind, maybe even on yours right now – can your services help me solve my problem?

The Conflict Test

Let’s take Joe for example. Why was he at my office? Why was he talking to me? Because his daughter had experienced a life-threatening event, and although she was now safe, it had changed her life forever. Joe, however, knew that there was more to the story.  He knew it was an accident and he loved the other people involved, even if he didn’t understand their choices during or after the accident. And on the other side of the story? The others involved in the accident were deeply sorry that it had happened. They also wanted to be a support to Joe and his family. They wanted Joe to know how deeply both he and his daughter were loved. That is what they got a chance to talk about. The conversation transformed their relationship and brought collective healing to all of their lives.

People have good reasons to test us. Many of the people we have worked with are at a crossroads. They have come to a point where they need to make a decision about the conflict they are involved in: whether to leave the relationship or stay, whether to search for other employment or dive in deeper at their current place of work, how to relate to others, how to achieve their dreams or maximize their potential.

Tests are Welcome

People want to know if our expertise matches their needs. I welcome your test because I want you to trust us with your conflict. If it is outside of our area of expertise we will be honest with you. If it is something we have worked with before and you want to solve it, I am confident it will be worth your time to let us in.

In the last 8 months, we have trained 35 people, we have performed direct services for 67 people in 11 different conflicts. Also, we have given advice to individuals which have helped them find resolutions to the situations they were working through. All of our clients have thanked us for our services. They have been in a better position to make the decisions that they need to. If you are working through a conflict please give us a call or contact us. Most likely there is something we can do for you.

Tim Nightingale, M.A. is a mediator, trainer, and facilitator. He has been in the field of conflict resolution for 8 years. Learn more about him here.