For many of us, our Christian life revolves around the church, and yet sometimes the church can feel lacking in Christ’s love. Church conflict occurs when a disagreement is unresolved at church, whether it be amongst the congregants, between the leadership, between the leadership and the congregants, on any number of the functioning (or dysfunctioning) groups, everybody pays the price. This can be seen when a complaint, rather than trying to resolve it, becomes the topic of conversation at every gathering. Or when particular people or groups of people seem to “run” the church. Or only the strong prevail at committee meetings. Everybody is wishing for something more, something different, something that meets their original expectations, or perhaps even exceeds them, but instead, there seems to be a spirit of discontent. Frustrated congregants, short-term staff, disheartened leadership can all add up to disaster, the question is not when will it erupt, but how badly will this erupt.
The church does not have to be overwhelmed by unresolved conflict. Conflict often comes from unmet expectations, miscommunications, fear, distrust, and mishandled grievances, but in a healthy church each of these realities can be addressed and furthermore, all of the energy invested into the church can be transformed into a powerful loving outcome that can feed congregants spiritual lives and reach out into the community in loving and meaningful ways. Conflict can be dangerous, but it can also be an opportunity to grow in your relationship to Christ, yourself and others.
The church is the example of Christ on earth. We are the people carrying the Good News, we are the people who have received undeserved reconciliation. The church can be a place of Christ’s love, peace, reconciliation, forgiveness, and redemption, even your church. If you are a Pastor, an elder, or a congregant who believes that your church can learn to respond to conflict the way Jesus would please get into contact with Nightingale Resolutions and see how that expectation can come closer to being realized.
Tim Nightingale and Noelle Nightingale are mediators in Fresno, CA at Nightingale Resolutions and offer various solutions to help support a church including mediation, facilitation, training, and structure realignment.